I Confess

I confess: that I am completely heartbroken.

Yes its been almost 1 month exactly since all the badness happened, since my life

fell apart, since I lost the love of my life, my best friend.

I confess: I want him. I want every part of him. I want our plans to fall through, all of

our hopes and dreams that we shared. Our one day owning a big piece of land

and building OUR dream home, and him getting me a horseyy!

I confess: I want to be able to hug him goodbye when he leaves for deployment.

I want to be his number one supporter. I want to be his biggest fan.
I want to be able to share this deployment with him.
I want to be the overly excited, can't wait to see my love in the airport

when he gets R&R, I want to get to pick out that amazing outfit
for his homecoming. I want to be able to throw an amazing going
away party and coming home party for him!

I confess: I am hurt. I am sad. I am angry. I am broken.

I confess: We are still good friends. I still talk to him almost everyday. We battle
each other in Words With Friends (by the way, if you have it, play me)
everyday.

I confess: I thought I was doing better. I think I feel like I took 20 steps back because

he is in our hometown for the weekend. I should have known he wouldn't
want to actually see me. Let alone, maybe hang out. It hurts, I hurt...

I confess: I will miss him when he leaves next week for his month long trip to Arkansas.

I confess: I miss him!