Pregnancy Rant, Really...

So I am sure I am just being selfish and crazy hormonal from this pregnancy, but my husband is coming home from R&R soon. I feel like he is going to want to just go out and booze with his buddies the majority of the time. I get that he is beer deprived and things are not easy for him over there and just wants to have fun, but lets be honest, we are having a baby. He will either already be here before Josh gets home or really soon after. But I have had NO life for the past 9 months, lost lots of friends because I couldn't booze or go out with them anymore (guess they weren't really friends) and none of that will change anytime soon, if ever again. I am planning on breastfeeding at least for the first 6 months, if not the first year. So my alcohol/friend intake will be very limited still. I know I probably sound selfish, but if you were not going to see your baby for another 6-7 months wouldn't you want to spend as much time with him as possible, not to mention me. We've been married 6 months on the 8th and have never actually been a married couple. I'm sure I am over-reacting and he will be with us the majority of the time. And I'm sure this is just me freaking out because he won't be here for labor probably and well I get to spend the next 6-7 months being a single mother. Yes, I have plenty of people who are willing to help me, but they need to just back off and let me ask for help myself. The more they are pushing me the further I will push them away, they need to realize that. Ughh, I'm sorry for the rant, I am just really frustrated today!

January Shall Be...

GREAT!!

Want to know why??

Not only will we have a beautiful little boy named Matthew Ryan

enter the world, BUT...

I will get to see my HUSBAND!!!

Yes, you heard that right. R&R is coming so quickly and I couldn't

be anymore excited!

Soon, maybe. But him being here for little baby's first couple

of weeks is WAY more important, we both agree!

So I obviously can't give exact dates, but I am ready for 2012 to be here,

like NOW!!

Stages of Deployment

(NOTE: I did not write this. I copied and pasted from here. I just really liked it, so im sharing)

The beginning will suck. There's no getting around it.

 You'll say goodbye and be torn in two. You'll take the drive home, and you'll probably calm down. You'll go back to the house and it'll almost feel like nothing has changed. You'll feel like "hey this isn't as hard as I thought it would bad." You'll think you're handling it really well, and while you probably are...wait for it.

The first day or so you'll be really bored but not too depressed. You'll want to be alone but you wont be suffering like you thought you would be....but it'll hit you. One day, probably in the first week you'll have a break down. You'll have been waiting for a call and it takes longer than you thought, or you just cant stand the thought of not having to share the bed, or you'll trip over a pair of old boots and everything will come crashing down.

Let it. That's the one thing you'll learn. If you need to fall apart, don't try and stop it. The only way to pick up the pieces is to let them fall.

Once this happens, deployment is going to hurt. A little every day but you'll manage the pain. Stay busy. In the beginning, you'll feel helpless and like you've give anything to keep him from where he's going. But you can't. That's why we send care packges. Go to the store and throw your heart and soul into a care package.

We rpesent care packages like we do it for them, but in all honesty, we do it for ourselves. We want to feel less helpless. Like we're in some way, in the only way, making their lives a little easier, the only way we can.

After the first 3 months you'll set yourself into a pseudo groove. You're used to the deployment by now and with 3 months under your belt, the next three will probably sail by like they never even happened. Before you know it you're 6 months down and only have half to go.

R&R: It's going to be amazing. You're going to have a hard time sharing him, but realize that this is his vacation and other people love and miss him too. realizing and accepting this will make it easier on everyone. He's going to have friends who he hasn't talked to since he left,want to hang out. Let them. That's what our loved ones do. They keep in touch with us and leave the friends for later, so don't hold it against them that they haven't been around. He hasn't let them. he's only made room enough for you in his deployed life.

The goodbye will be the most horrible day of your life and nothing will ever prepare you for it. It almost seems unfair, like there should be an in-between. Because here and gone isn't good enough. There's no slow goodbye, there's no easing into it. One second he's kissing you goodbye and the next you can't see him anymore and you know the next time you do will be in 6 months.

Cry. Scream. Do what you have to do because you need to get this out.

The deployment will be easier for the last halfbecause you have something to look forward to and because ta this point, you've done this before. But with the ease, you're going to run into arguments. You're both used to this and you're both tired of it. You're both trying to put on a happy face but you're both miserable.

While one is comfortable with the situation, another will have a rough day and want some reassurance and the other wont have the energy for it. You'll both go back and forth with this and the arguments will suck. There will be mis communications, jealousy, and simple frustration.

It's okay. Just figure out which battles don't need to be fought. if you're arguing because you've run out of thinsg to talk about (don't act like this doesn't apply to you) Then give communication a rest for the day. I know it's hard because we think "if we don't talk and something happens I'll never forgive myself"....it'll be okay. Sometimes you just need some time to yourself and so does he.

The end of the deployment will be horrible. Sorry, I know that's not comforting but I'm not going to lie to you. It sucks. If it went by any slower it may actually go backwards, and that's honestly alli can tell you about the end. It sucks and that's normal, but you'll get through it.

And then they come home.