Pink Eye

So just my luck, I woke up Thursday and my eye had been bothering me alll day. It was itchy and watery and I had a headache behind my eye the entire day. But I am assuming it wasn't red because no one said anything to me. When I got off of work though, I came home and was doing stuff. Well I glanced in the mirror hanging on the wall just like I always do, except my eye was sooo red. It looked like I got beat up massively, but just in that one eye. So I go to Giant Eagle after everyone told me it was probably pink eye and I asked the pharmacists just to see what she would say, and sure enough she said it was probably pink eye. She said there was a Quick Clinic next door, but who has money for that? Not me...So I just bought some stuff from the store. It has seemed to be working, my eye isn't red and itchy anymore, but I still have these horrible headaches only on the right side of my head where the pink eye was...Needless to say I haven't done much the past couple of dayys :(

All Aloneee on a Wednesday Night

So my boyfriend is hanging out down in West Virginia tonight for work, which equals complete boredom for Lauren. You think I would be used to him not being here already between all the crazy hours he works and drill one weekend a month, but no. lol, somebody has to make the money, cuz it clearly isn't me right now.

On that note though, I finally went to training today for work. After all the waiting and other stupid stuff I have had to do, I am finally doing my training. Today was boring though, just got to sit on my butt for 5 hours and pretty much do nothing. My training lady, Dee, she is pretty awesome! So I am actually excited to go to work tomorrow.

I recently joined the FRG at my boyfriends company Christmas party. I am actually a little too excited about it, just because I will finally be able to meet some people & make friends down here. Granted its an hour and half from our house, its still okay. Plus i'll be able to make friends with everyone if he ends up deploying, which he is still trying so hard to do.

I also just discovered that the community college down here, Columbus State Community College, has a radiography program at it. I am already enrolled at OSU for Winter quarter coming up, but I am still so undecided about it there. And I really don't know who to talk to about it. If I talk to my family or friends, they are all going to be biased because they want the football tickets at Ohio State. And school starts January 3rd....I really feel stuckk & don't know what to do still.

The Ohio State University: Orientation Day!

So I went to my orientation at The Ohio State University yesterday, I start school January 3rd. I was so excited when I applied and even more excited when I actually found out I got in. Going to orientation yesterday though changed my whole perspective on going there. I actually don't want to anymore, but what choice do I have? No other schools down in this area have the degree I am going to school for, so I am kind of stuck. Here are the reasons why I'm not so excited anymore...

1. The campus is hugeeee! Going to Akron, I thought that was a decent size, but I knew where everything was, so it wasn't bad. We did a walking tour, in the freezing cold by the way, and it didn't help at all. Then after I met with my advisor, all I had to do was get my Buck ID. That was a mission all on its own. Instead of meeting back up in a place with everyone, they send you off on your own. So i walked and walked all over campus until some lady finally told me how to get to the union, and I remind you again - it was freezzingggg! Then after I got my Buck ID, I had no idea how to get back to my car. It was just a diasaster.
2. When I met with my advisor, I was expecting to take Anatomy 2 or something similiar and stuff relating to my degree. Nope! Apparently Ohio State requires you to take more stupid ass classes than neccessary. I have to take a History of Rock and Roll class, I mean seriously. My major is Radiology, WTF does the history of Rock and Roll have to do with anything?? And at Akron, I was done with math. In fact, I was done with everything except Anatomy 2 before I could apply to the program. Coming to OSU was kind of a smack in the face, and my advisor was so unhelpful, it was rediculous.
3. I am probably going to be in school way longer than I expected now, which I am not happy about. I am seriously to the point where I want to just say fuck this and quit. But I can't, and I am trying to get done with school as fast as possible. I promised myself my dad would see me graduate college, and I am trying to keep that promise, as hard as it is.
4. Everyone I know is so excited for me that I got into Ohio State, I feel like I can't let them down now. How do I live up to standards when I am so unhappy with my decision to go there. And lastly, my boyfriend has been my #1 cheerleader since the beginning of our relationship and he still is. Everytime I get discouraged he has picks me up. I don't want to let him down, not only him though, I don't want to let everyone else down, but mostly I don't want to let myself down. I know I can do this, but how do you keep doing something when your so unhappy with the decision?

I know it was just orientation and I am hoping things get better in the first couple of weeks when school actually starts. But we'll seee!!

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On a better note, when I came home from orientation yesterday there was a sticker on the door from UPS saying they delivered a package to us and it was in the office. Well I know I didn't order anything so I just assumed Josh bought something offline. So I texted him and told him he got a package and I told him where it was from. He immediately called me like, "Did you open it??" "Well don't" I would of never guessed it was anything for me if he wouldnt of acted like that. So I had to wait until he got home before he would let me open it, because I had to give him his Christmas present early because he almost bought what I got him, so he let me have part of mine early. So sure enough he cuts it open and its my ownnn Carhartt Jacket! I was so excited, I'm still excited. And its a womans Carhartt so its not hugee on me, which I didn't even know they made womans Carhartt's. But they dooo, and I am the proud new owner of oneee :) :)

Will Things Ever be the Same??

Wow! So it has been a long time since I have actually blogged. So much has happened since October to now. I picked up my life and moved to Columbus to be with the man I love more than anything. It has been great so far, my only wish, that I could of brought my friends and job with me. As much I hated and complained about my job, I miss the people I work with. We were together so much, they became like family to me. I ususally saw them more than I saw my own family. I don't neccesarily miss the job, just my "family" there. And my best friends, thats a whole different story. I moved down here and I don't know a single person. Everyone of my friends is back in Akron, and I have already missed my best friends birthday. It sucks. Granted I am only 2 hours away from everyone, it is still not as easy to just come home. Coming home means the gas to go back to Akron, a place to stay while I am there, and time to see everyone so no one gets mad. It's almost like a competition, if I don't see one person but I see another, they get mad. It's frustrating...

And my best friend is mad at me, she might not admit it, but I know she is, because I would be mad too. Me moving was for the better, but it still isn't the same. We have already grown apart. We don't talk much anymore, even before I left we didn't talk much. Her resentment was buidling before I even left. I can't really say anything because I am the one who chose to leave. But I do miss her and I hope things change soon. I know we might not stay best friends like we were, but she is the only person who knows me in and out, she knows when I am angry, even when I lie and say I am fine, she knows I am lying. Friendships like that are hard to find, and I hope we can get past this "bump" in our friendship and move forward.

Can't Shake This Feeling

So lately I have been in a mood. I can't really describe this mood, but it was starting to affect my life.

I realized though the root cause of this mood, my boyfriend was coming home, but he would quickly be leaving again. Not as far this time, but still leaving my day to day life again, at least for a couple of months. With that being said, I carried this mood around with me all weekend, I don't know what finally made it click in my head, but it took until Sunday night when he left my house for me to actually realize, I'm a idiot. I have this amazing man who loves me unconditionally, and sure he wouldn't be home for long, because sooner than later he is going to have a new home. But I want to enjoy the time that I do have left with him, and it isn't like I won't be able to see him, and chances are, well hopefully, I will be moving to this new home of his too, which would make it our home :)

I'm not the brightest person sometimes, but I'm glad he understands. I promise from today and on, I will not let him moving upset me. I love this man more than anything! And eventually we will begin our life together!

Oh and PS - Send lots of good luck wishes, he is interviewing for a big kid job!! :) :)

4 Months Stronger

Dear Army,
Boyfriend and I defeated you! Our four month seperation is almost complete. My baby will be home in 4 days, count them, 4 days!! I am beyond excited! I can't wait to see him, and kiss him, and just hold him. He is my absolute best friend, and we made it through this little adventure so easily. I've had my ups and downs and so has he, but we came out of this stronger then ever. The statement, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", is such a true statement. I just can't wait to see him, and see where the future goes :) Wish us luck with him getting this job opportunity and us hopefully moving!!!

The Story of Us!

Josh and I actually went to grade school together, a little Catholic School named Christ the King (which is now North Akron Catholic). He was a grade below me, the same as my god-sister and best friend. I didn't like him when we were little, I thought he was annoying and stupid, haha sorry babe! We never really hung out much or talked for that matter, only when we absolutely had too. I left Christ the King to move onto high school. I don't think I seen or talked to him anytime after that. Well we had been friends on good ol' Facebook because lets face it, everyone adds everyone if they knew who that person was just to have friends, but we never talked to each other. I had a status up on Facebook one day, it was the end of April of 2009, that said something along the lines of "Playing beer pong with the friends" well he randomly commented on my status saying "Win one for me." I just thought to myself that was random, but went with it like "okay." About a week or two later, mid May, Josh popped up in my Facebook chat asking if I had won a game for him? We ended up talking for a few minutes and he gave me his number and invited me to a party he was having at his house. For whatever reason I actually saved his number in my phone, but I had no intentions on going to this party he was having.

A couple hours later, I went to my best friend Jenner's house to pick her up and go do something. I don't remember if we actually had plans and they fell through or if we were still trying to find something to do. And just an FYI this was back in my alcoholic days, all I did was drink. But we were sitting on her front porch, and all I remember saying is "Oh, this kid I went to elementary school with invited me to his party." And she asked who he was and what not, all I remember her saying is "Umm..Lauren, a house full of Army dudes, were goin!!" So I called Josh up and told him we were gonna stop by, he gave me his address and we were on our way. When I found the street, of course I drove right past his house, WITH my GPS because thats just what I do, haha. After all was said and done, we got out of the car and the only thing I remember thinking was "What the hell is going on??" Josh was walking around smoking a cigarette and had a gun on each hip. All I kept thinking was, "WTF did Jenner get me into??" haha.  The night turned out to be not to bad. I started to see alot of him within the next couple of weeks. He has this amazing comfy chair on the front porch of his house, that I always threatened to steal, but we spent many long hours in this chair.

He accepted me for me. After I told him all about my past, he still didn't care. He liked me for me, and I didn't know how to react to that. So many people get scarred off when I tell them that I have been married and have a son, but not Josh. It took me a while to open myself up and to be able to actually trust him, but he never showed me that he couldn't be trusted. We had this on again off again romance going for a while. We actually started to "date" for a couple weeks, then he told me he was still talking to his ex-girlfriend and he didn't know what he wanted, so we "broke" up. I am not gonna lie, I was a little messed up about it, here I was putting all this effort into him to just have it thrown back into my face. We didn't talk for about 2 weeks after that. I went on with my life as if he never existed, then he called. And ever since then, we have pretty much been inseperable.

I gave up on being in love, the idea of love, the idea of getting married and having babies. I was convinced I would be single and alone forever, then along comes this amazing man who treats me like a princess. It was almost as if it was too good to be true. Josh coming into my life is a blessing in disguise. I really couldn't ask for a better man or a better best friend. Through all the ups and downs he is always there, and is usually always on my side. For that I am forever grateful. I love you baby!