Song Link-Up

So things have slowly been getting better, day by day. Thank goodness..I am finally allowed to have

a life again, well sort of. Light activity is what I'm allowed to do...better than nothing though...

And baby is doing good & healthy!! That's the most important thing!

Hubs is doing good, although currently sick. I get to see him soon enough. I'm beyond excited because

this will be the last little bit of time I will get with him before he leaves for good, boo.

The planning and organizing for his party is in full affect. Were having it Labor Day weekend, I just hope

people actually come because we have put a lot of work and effort into it. And like hubs said,

If people can't take away one holiday to come and say "see you later" to my hubs who is going

off to fight a war, then they are not really real friends or family anyways.

That's all for now...

Except for my song link-up

My song this week is Toby Keith's American Soldier.

Cliche, I know. But hubs and I went and saw Eric Church & Toby Keith in concert

a few weeks back. When he performed this song, I cried, because my husband is going off to fight

this war soon enough. He will not be here to see our son or daughter be born or a lot of the first that

come with a baby. And this was the last "outing" we will have until he comes home safe and sound to us!

So enjoy!

Weekend Recap

So Thursday afternoon I learned how to play pitty pat, kind of. It was interesting, they kept trying to get me to play with my dollars. Not happening though. I won one hand, so I would of lost like 10 bucks. Good thing I didn't play with money, I would of not been happy. Then around 4:50ish, I left to drive to Columbus. Yes, Columbus. This is my blog, I don't need to hide stuff. I went to see Josh before he left for Arkansas for a month. If you don't like it, tough. I always manage to leave when traffic is heavy, why I don't know, doesn't make much sense. But I finally got there around 7 and Josh was passed out. I woke him up and we went and got some Raising Cane's, which is amazinggg! Came back home, watched a movie and just hung out. It was nice.

Friday was a busy day. We went shopping and got pedicures. Yes, Josh got a pedicure! haha, I love it. We got some food, actually ate breakfast, lunch and dinner. Neither one of us have done that in a while. I helped him pack, ok well not really, lol. Then we just hung out for a little while and went to sleep. Then Saturday morning he left for Arkansas :( Even though were not dating, saying goodbyes still suck. Its only a month long, but still. He's been a part of my life for so long, I'm not a fan of goodbyes. Maybe we can meet up when I am in Oklahoma, since we'll only be a state apart, hint hint ;) haha. We would be 6 hours away from each other, according to google maps time, which means probably 4 or 5.

Saturday night I started my job. I'm training to be a server. Which is kind of dumb for me to start because I only get to work yesterday and today, then im off until 20 June I believe, because of surgery. Which is why I am headed to Oklahoma. I can't work, so why not enjoy these 2 weeks before reality starts and I work all the time. Oh, and in case you were wondering, surgery is on Tuesday, this Tuesday 7 June. Not excited. Kind of really scared. The one person I wish was there, can't be there. Even if he wasn't in Arkansas, he probably still wouldn't be there. Just sucks.

But I absolutely adore him. Through all the bad and all the good. I love him. I will always love him.

A Moment of Weakness...

So I have been debating on whether or not I should even post this. I will probably debate about it even if I do end up posting this or not. But anyways, I had a moment of weakness. It was Tuesday night, it was the day my world had come crashing down on me. Everything and I mean everything that could go wrong, went wrong. My now ex-boyfriend had informed me of details about his cheating habits, which I guess I kind of forced out of him because I wanted to know. Found out my financial aid was a goner. Realization of not having a job sunk in. All of my friends are walking around me on eggshells, afraid they will say the wrong thing. Yes, I am not happy. I don't exactly know how to get happy again. My entire world came crashing down. All of my hopes and dreams came crashing down with them. Everything gone, just like that. I don't really have a reason to live anymore, at least thats how it feels right now. So I did the unthinkable, I won't say how I did it, but I tried to make myself sleep forever. I obviously failed because I am still around to type this, but I tried. I cant really say I won't try again because quite frankly I don't have much to live for right now. But then again, maybe I won't. It's a day to day thing. The hurt I feel is unbearable at times. I just can't get over that fact that he cheated on me that long ago and could still act like everything was fine. In fact, Halloween weekend, when he cheated on me with his ex, was the same weekend I found out I got into Ohio State. The same weekend that sealed the deal of OUR future, the life that we could start together, and he cheated on me that same night. I want to hate him, I really do, but I can't. I still worry about him. In fact he is having his teeth pulled tomorrow. I was supposed to be the one taking him and taking care of him, not his mother. I was supposed to be one the feeding him popsicles and ice cream until he got better. Now dont get me wrong, I love his mother, she is amazing, but its supposed to be me taking care of him, not her. I'm just so frustrated. Everyone keeps telling me he isn't worth my time, he cheated on me. That I need to just move on. Well, I don't love easily in the first place, so for me to just give up on someone I love is hard, it is really really hard. I'm stuck in this never ending battle of love & hate and I don't know how to get out of it. I know I need to give up, because well, he's given up on me. And I know I should absolutely hate him for everything he did to me, but how? I am really really struggling here, so comments, suggestions, anything would be much appreciated..

Just Watch, He Is Great!

Alexis Jovan Chervony makes all sorts of videos and they are all wonderful. Just watch this all the way through, its so true. (And babe, if watch it too ;) haha) He has a whole bunch of videos on You Tube, check them out here,

 http://www.youtube.com/user/Jovan14606

4 Months Stronger

Dear Army,
Boyfriend and I defeated you! Our four month seperation is almost complete. My baby will be home in 4 days, count them, 4 days!! I am beyond excited! I can't wait to see him, and kiss him, and just hold him. He is my absolute best friend, and we made it through this little adventure so easily. I've had my ups and downs and so has he, but we came out of this stronger then ever. The statement, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", is such a true statement. I just can't wait to see him, and see where the future goes :) Wish us luck with him getting this job opportunity and us hopefully moving!!!

The Story of Us!

Josh and I actually went to grade school together, a little Catholic School named Christ the King (which is now North Akron Catholic). He was a grade below me, the same as my god-sister and best friend. I didn't like him when we were little, I thought he was annoying and stupid, haha sorry babe! We never really hung out much or talked for that matter, only when we absolutely had too. I left Christ the King to move onto high school. I don't think I seen or talked to him anytime after that. Well we had been friends on good ol' Facebook because lets face it, everyone adds everyone if they knew who that person was just to have friends, but we never talked to each other. I had a status up on Facebook one day, it was the end of April of 2009, that said something along the lines of "Playing beer pong with the friends" well he randomly commented on my status saying "Win one for me." I just thought to myself that was random, but went with it like "okay." About a week or two later, mid May, Josh popped up in my Facebook chat asking if I had won a game for him? We ended up talking for a few minutes and he gave me his number and invited me to a party he was having at his house. For whatever reason I actually saved his number in my phone, but I had no intentions on going to this party he was having.

A couple hours later, I went to my best friend Jenner's house to pick her up and go do something. I don't remember if we actually had plans and they fell through or if we were still trying to find something to do. And just an FYI this was back in my alcoholic days, all I did was drink. But we were sitting on her front porch, and all I remember saying is "Oh, this kid I went to elementary school with invited me to his party." And she asked who he was and what not, all I remember her saying is "Umm..Lauren, a house full of Army dudes, were goin!!" So I called Josh up and told him we were gonna stop by, he gave me his address and we were on our way. When I found the street, of course I drove right past his house, WITH my GPS because thats just what I do, haha. After all was said and done, we got out of the car and the only thing I remember thinking was "What the hell is going on??" Josh was walking around smoking a cigarette and had a gun on each hip. All I kept thinking was, "WTF did Jenner get me into??" haha.  The night turned out to be not to bad. I started to see alot of him within the next couple of weeks. He has this amazing comfy chair on the front porch of his house, that I always threatened to steal, but we spent many long hours in this chair.

He accepted me for me. After I told him all about my past, he still didn't care. He liked me for me, and I didn't know how to react to that. So many people get scarred off when I tell them that I have been married and have a son, but not Josh. It took me a while to open myself up and to be able to actually trust him, but he never showed me that he couldn't be trusted. We had this on again off again romance going for a while. We actually started to "date" for a couple weeks, then he told me he was still talking to his ex-girlfriend and he didn't know what he wanted, so we "broke" up. I am not gonna lie, I was a little messed up about it, here I was putting all this effort into him to just have it thrown back into my face. We didn't talk for about 2 weeks after that. I went on with my life as if he never existed, then he called. And ever since then, we have pretty much been inseperable.

I gave up on being in love, the idea of love, the idea of getting married and having babies. I was convinced I would be single and alone forever, then along comes this amazing man who treats me like a princess. It was almost as if it was too good to be true. Josh coming into my life is a blessing in disguise. I really couldn't ask for a better man or a better best friend. Through all the ups and downs he is always there, and is usually always on my side. For that I am forever grateful. I love you baby!

How To Be A Good Army Girlfriend

Step 1

Realize that being an Army girlfriend is much different than being a girlfriend to a civilian. Your relationship is restricted as many things will interfere with the time you get to spend with him.


Step 2
Accept that there will be chunks of time where you won't be able to see or speak with him. Soldiers are often swept away to train in the field, or go elsewhere for weeks of training. You'll be lucky if you get to talk to him for five minutes a day, if that.


Step 3
Learn to be independent. Should your soldier be deployed, you'll be without him for a year or more. If this is something you will have difficulty handling, find another man. Your boy will need your support while overseas, not your indecisiveness.


Step 4
Your soldier will most likely be very close with his friends especially if he has been deployed. It's important that you support and encourage this. These guys are very close and will do almost anything for each other.


Step 5
Expect him to be tired most of the time. Soldiers work long days. They often have strenuous Physical Training activities and work in the heat with several layers of clothing. There's nothing better than giving him a nice massage after work, or cooking him a nice dinner.


Step 6
Get used to hearing words and acronyms that you won't understand.


Step 7
Soldiers get up very early in the morning. Respect this and say goodnight early. If you are staying together, take the time to get up sometimes in the morning to make him coffee.


Step 8
Realize that the Army has to come first in his life, not you. It's not a normal job. He can't be late for work, he can't leave work if you need something and it may be hard for him to keep in touch with you during the day.


Step 9
If your soldier is staying in the barracks, understand that there are rules. There are typically no visitors allowed past 10:00 (that's 22:00!), he will probably have a roommate and you won't get to spend much alone time with him when you're visiting.


Step 10
Be proud of your man! What he's doing is not easy. The best thing you can do is be supportive, listen to him talk about his day and love him as best you can.

absolutely love this..

I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. A boy who will sing to me at random moments. Who lets me sleep on his chest. I want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me. Bring me soup or orange juice when I’m sick. I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times. I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away. A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he’d still do it. A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say. A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times. Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game. Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum. Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume. I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. Who will kiss me in the pouring rain. I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other. I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up. I want a boy who will take me to Target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I’m on the phone. I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I’ve got him soaked. I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I’m sick, and would play with my hair. But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me.