Friday, December 18, 2009

I've Been Thinking

So lately I have been thinking long and hard about joining the military for a number of reasons. It has always been a thought in the back of my mind since I left highschool, I almost joined then. Part of me wishes I would of. I've always had the utmost respect for people in the military, always. What they do is amazing! Im back in college and I still dont have a major declared. I dont know what I want to do for the rest of my life. All I know is I want my life to be meaningful. I want to make a difference. I want to help people. I feel like with the path that i am on, I'm not going to achieve that goal.

My boyfriend is in the Army. This has nothing to do with him or anyone else, just me! If anything he inspires me to actually proceed with it. Although he knows none of this, but that is okay. My family will kill me, this I know. But if I can better myself and my future, they won't hate me for long. My friends, they'll kill me too. My friends and family is what keeps me grounded. So leaving them would be hard.

I'm tired of going to work everyday and still being broke every Tuesday come payday. I'm tired of working a dead-end job. And I'm tired of having to pay all my money to bills, all thanks to my fabulous ex-husband (note the sarcasm there). It just feels like my life is on a fast track to no where. I want to travel. I want to see the world. I'll never make it out of Ohio if i keep going like I'm going.

Again, nothing is set in stone. Its just a thought right now. I am only speaking to people, you know weighing my options. But if my family or friends happen to see this, I'll be sure to talk to you guys before I make any drastic choices.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Lets start out with Love:

Is REAL love indescribable? Yeah.

Have you ever been in Love? Yeah.

What feelings do you get when you know you love someone? Knowing you'll do anything for them. Butterflys. Overwhelming excitement when you get to see them, or just get to talk to them. That longing to be with them when your apart...etc, etc, etc. haha

Ever get sick to your stomach because you love someone so much? when were fighting, yes.

Is love sometimes misunderstood for care? It can be I guess.

If you could make someone fall in love with you, who would it be? I would not want to because I want someone to love me for me, not forced.

If Love was a potion what ingrediants would it compose of? haha, idk.

Do you tend to enjoy the game of getting someone to love you back? naw, just gotta be yourself. You can't fake love, thats not cool

What age were you when you had your first kiss? Ohh idk, like 13. I remember who it was, not how old I was.

Is love worth dying for? Yes

Is love worth losing everything you currently own? Yes, as long as you have each other in the end.

Is love always enough in a relationship? It is a big part, but no its not always enough.

What item you own do you Love the most? Why? My car - its my baby!

Is the love for your pets same as the love for your family? YES! I treat my dog like he is a person.

A food you LoVe? Steak and pasta, mmmm :)

Someone you love for making life so much easier? My sister, she is my rock <3


Would life be better or easier if we were all emotionless? No, i think it would be harder.

What life would that be if we couldn't feel anything towards someone? Basically, you'd be a slut. Going from guy to guy to guy because you would have no attachment to one person.

Is black the never ending color of hate? No, I love black.

A law you hate? Well im legal now, so I dont really hate any laws.

Someone that makes you sick? My ex-husband. haha. Makes me want to throw up each time i see him.

A food you HATE!!? Seafood, onions, mushrooms, cold noodles, etc. the list is endless. im really picky.

Do you sometimes hate the ones you love the most? Never hate, we all annoy each other at times. We all say things we dont mean, but we love each other, so we make up.

The argument you hated having the most!!? cleaning up after yourself, i mean its really not that hard to do.

Something about life that you hate? I hate how expensive school is. I hate how I work all the time and I still have no money. I hate that I still live at home. I hate people who try to intrude on my life.

A movie you hate? It. That stupid clown movie. scarred me for life.

A band you wish would just SHUT UP? idk.

A vegetable you hate? peas.

Something a family member gives you on the holidays that you hate? Nothing.

A word you despise? umm idk.

Soemthing your bf/gf does that drives you crazy? oh im sure there is something but nothing is coming to mind right now.

Something a family member does, that drives you crazy? oh my mother, all she does is bitch and complain 1/2 the time. drives me crazyy for sure.

Special Events in your life!!

The happiest moment of your life? day my son was born

The funniest thing that happened to you with your friends? umm were so stupid together, there is no way i can just narrow it down.

The nicest thing someone has ever said to you? I get alot of nice compliments. I'm a nice person.

A school day that actually went well:: What happened? ummm college is never good. haha

The best date youve been on? describe it:: whats a date? lol

Your best/funnest birthday? What happened? my 22nd birthday hands down. i was with all my friends. got super drunk. it was a blast. loved every minute of it.

The best gift someone has ever given you? umm..idk. i LOVE diamonds and jewelry.

A time you laughed so hard you peed your pants? what happened? hahaha. with Jenner, usually an every other day thing.

One of the best memories you have of a loved one? my son =)

Best vacation with family::? myrtle or disney

The Nasty Tards

Do you get migranes? everyonce in a while. they suck like hell when i do get them though.

Do you get acne? sometimes.

Ever been pregnant when you didnt want to be? it wasn't planned but i was excited.

Have you ever been trapped in an elevator? No. I would probably freak out.

Ever accidently caught something on fire in your home? haha yeahh.

Has a pet ever ran away? did you find them? Yeah. and yeah.

Ever watched a loved one die before your eyes? Yes...worst thing EVERRR!!!

Ever had a parent walk in on you and your someone doing something naughty? Nope.

Your most embarassing moment? have you heard the stuff that comes out of my mouth??

Have you ever fell down the stairs? haha yess.

Ran into a see through door? Yes.

Slipped on wet floor? nope.

Ever found soemthing disgusting in your fast food? eww yes. i didnt eat McDonalds for like 5 years.

Have you ever been diagnosed with something horrible? No

Accidently slipped gas in public? not accidently. hahaha

Your Absolute Bests!

Meal youve ever made? anything pasta.

Thing you have made for someone? idk i can be creative with gifts when i want to be.

Thing youve done for someone? I always do stuff for people.

Action made to help someone? Again there's been a few.

Advice youve given someone? I give advice everyday.

Advice youve recieved? LOTS!!

Picture youve drawn? Havent drawn since highschool, but i wasnt bad.

Poem youve written? yeah right. i suck with that shit.

Eassay youve written? im not a writer.

Time youve ever spent with anyone? anytime with my family or friends is fabulous

Party youve ever been to? ha lotsss.

Voicemail message youve had? def kellys.

Phone conversation youve had? I've had many.

Point youve prooven? enough =)

Sport you played? soccerrr

Lets get physical

Your best phsyical feature is:? Eyes or the girls I guess.

A creative word to describe the color of your eyes is? Mesmerizing. haha

Your hairs description:: brown with blondeee

What are you most self concious about on your body? bellyy and arms.

What do you like the most about your body? the girls.

What animal do you look most like? haha idk

Lets get REAL phsyical!

Would you ever consider sleeping with a celebrity? Jake Gyllenhaal

Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Been cheated on.

Would you consider a one night stand? Nope.

Are you straight, gay or bisexual? Straight.

Are you a virgin? Nope.

If you have had sex, where was the craziest/sillest place youve done it? umm no comment.

If your a virgin where do you want your first time to be? ...

Should sex be all about emotion and passion? Should be.

Does the person have to Love you for you to get in their pants? its a good thought.

Sex only after marriage? I wish I could of done this.

Fasntasys/ fetishes/something romantic involving sex you wish for? Bahahaha, NO COMMENT!

new beginnings

so im new to all of this blogging stuff. all thanks to my wonderful bestest friend ever, jenner, im now in the relm. haha. but anyways, January is quickly approaching. can you believe it? where the hell did the year go to?? i dont even know if anything memorable happeneded in my life this year, obviously not because nothing is coming to mind. its just like a big blur that flew by. the only good thing that came out of this year is finding my boyfriend Josh. we have been talking again since May, we went to elementary school together, took until just this past November to put the boyfriend/girlfriend title onto it. Stupid i know, but he's a boy what can you expect. But he is an amazing boy. I have not been this happy in God knows how long. I cant even bring him up in conversation without having the biggest stupidest cheesy smile on my face. He makes me happy. yeah he annoys me at times, but what person doesnt. sad thing is, in june of 2010 he is leaving me for 4 months. wonderful life of the army. he is going to missouri, so its not too far. only an 11 hour drive, ha onlyyy. but i love him. never in my life thought i would say those words again after my ex. everyone who told me i was full of it everytime i said i would never love anyone again was right. absolutely right. i got sucked back in to the love thing. i just hope it doesnt fail me this time. anyways, off that subject...

my goal for the new year - lose some weight. for real though. i say it every year, but this year im determined. i wanna take a trip to the beach with all the friendlys next summer, so i gotta get my bikini bod back. im gonna work really hard, and if you see me slacking - yell at me to get back on the train. haha. the eliptical is going to be my best friend for the entire next semester i promise. speaking of semesters - i got my grades back for fall 09 semester. two A's and a B-, stupid math final. ended up with a 3.5, not bad i guess for my first semester back after taking a semester off. i need to declare a major though. im in school with no major declared yet. who does that?? all i know is i want to work in the medical setting and i want to work with babies and children. no clue where to go with that though.

finally got to see my little god-daughter tonight. she is getting sooo big. time is flying by. she is a spitting image of my best friend/god-sister. definitly rotten, i took her a pack of double stuffed oreos or as she calls them, "Oh Oh's". haha, gotta love one year olds. she knows how to open the pack all by herself and everything. one word - rotten. but she is my little baby - my heart. i would do anything for her.

went bowling with the guys tonight. Kenny & Nick. the girls who were with us dont count. im almost positive they wont be around long so im not even going to mention names. but they are my best friends. if i ever in my life get married again, they will def be in my wedding. their hilarious and i dont know where my life would be without them. well im going to bed. night everyone!! :)