Pregnancy Rant, Really...

So I am sure I am just being selfish and crazy hormonal from this pregnancy, but my husband is coming home from R&R soon. I feel like he is going to want to just go out and booze with his buddies the majority of the time. I get that he is beer deprived and things are not easy for him over there and just wants to have fun, but lets be honest, we are having a baby. He will either already be here before Josh gets home or really soon after. But I have had NO life for the past 9 months, lost lots of friends because I couldn't booze or go out with them anymore (guess they weren't really friends) and none of that will change anytime soon, if ever again. I am planning on breastfeeding at least for the first 6 months, if not the first year. So my alcohol/friend intake will be very limited still. I know I probably sound selfish, but if you were not going to see your baby for another 6-7 months wouldn't you want to spend as much time with him as possible, not to mention me. We've been married 6 months on the 8th and have never actually been a married couple. I'm sure I am over-reacting and he will be with us the majority of the time. And I'm sure this is just me freaking out because he won't be here for labor probably and well I get to spend the next 6-7 months being a single mother. Yes, I have plenty of people who are willing to help me, but they need to just back off and let me ask for help myself. The more they are pushing me the further I will push them away, they need to realize that. Ughh, I'm sorry for the rant, I am just really frustrated today!

Exhausted

So I had surgery on Tuesday,

to essentially "save the baby".

It has been exhausting, mentally and physically.

I don't know how people can be on bed rest for months and months.

I for one am fed up with it.

I consider myself pretty independent.

I hate having to rely on other people for stupid petty things,

like getting me a glass of water or making me food.

Yes, I am not allowed to do any of the above,

along with many other things.

Put that and actually being in physical pain together,

BAD combination.

I am waiting for the physical pain to go away.

So that I can at least sit in a chair and not be in pain,

or even walk around for longer than 10 minutes

without having to rest for 2 hours after those 10 minutes.

It is frustrating. It is even more frustrating having my husband gone.

Having him be so busy that I don't get to talk to him until

10 at night sometimes.

I know I know, it comes with the territory.

But right now, I am fed up and sick of it.

I didn't sign up to be pregnant alone, let alone

have to go through all of these god awful issues alone, too.

Having to be in the hospital literally all day.

Not being able to feel my legs for a good portion of that day.

The physical pain after. God, I hope it gets better.

I can't do this for 7 more months, especially alone.

I don't mean to go on and on. I'm just frustrated.

I am stuck in bed 24/7 with no real connection to the world.

No real connection to my husband.

I get irritated so easily.

All I want to do is be able to go outside, to come and go

as I please again.

Please let this pregnancy get easier, pleaseee!