So I haven't posted anything in a while. A lot has been going on and I am not really sure how to put it down into words. There are good days and bad days. I just hope to have more good then the bad. I recently started my second quarter at Ohio State, its getting better. Last quarter I didn't care for it much, but this quarter I actually am enjoying it. Babe is skeptical, because I changed my major yet again, but I am satisfied with it. I had to do something because he wants me to go back home when he leaves, IF I do go back home, everything I am taking now would be a waste and the same with if I go back to Akron. He is dead set on me going back home, but now that I am here, and I am enjoying Ohio State, I don't want to go back home. Going back home is only going to delay me graduating even longer, which frustrates me. I want to be done just as much as everyone else wants me to be done. But all this going back and forth with not everything transfering back & forth is a waste of my time and money. So why not let me stay down here? When he comes home I should only have about 2 quarters left and I would be graduating, finally. But if I go back home, God only knows when I would graduate because I don't know if anything I am taking now will even matter to Akron.
I talked to my advisor about it and she gave me a list of classes that will for sure transfer from Akron back to Ohio State if I came back, but that list consists of 5 classes. That is one semester. What about the other semester? Do I waste my time and take classes that I know won't transfer back, if I do come back down here? Im just so frustrated and overwhelmed because I want to stay down here. But I can't financially afford to live on my own completely and it sucks. Everytime I try to talk to Babe about it, I feel like he just shuts me out. Like, its his opinion or no opinion. Like I said, completely frustrating. And I want to take summer classes, but if I am just going to get "kicked out" of my home, how is that going to happen. So I am now looking for a new job, a better paying job. I am currently a pharmacy tech, but the pay I get for all the work I do is rediculous. But hopefully I can find a better job, that will let me live on my own if need be...
And of course I talk to my mom and the first words out her of mouth are, "You can't afford to live on your own!" Thank you, for reminding me of what I already know. I swear she can be so unsupportive. And the last thing I want is to be living under her roof again...
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
2 more days!
So I have just 2 more days of this quarter left and two finals next week and hello spring break! Although I am not going anywhere and I'll probably work the entire time, I am beyond happy to not have anything to worry about for a whole week. haha! And I can start blogging again regularly. But until then, the madness will continue! I'll be back I promise!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Ready or Not, Here We Go!
So as you all know, a deployment was always a possibility for boyfriend. At first, it was a high chance he would get deployed and then it became a low chance. Well, news came Friday that he IS going. When he called me I was at home cleaning the house and he was at work. The first words out of his mouth were, "Are you sitting down?" It hit me like a ton of bricks all at once because I was not expecting this, as far as we both knew he had got denied. Well turns out this deployment is now involuntary, which makes no sense because they told him no when he tried to volunteer but yet make him go...
At first he was told approx 2.5 months...now its looking like the end of July. Nothing will really be set until the actual orders come in, because if its one thing I know, nothing is ever certain in the military world. My heart aches though because I feel like we have just got the chance to really live our lives and now he has to leave. I knew what I was signing up for when this relationship started, I knew a deployment would happen, not maybe happen, I knew it would happen, just didn't think it would be so soon. But I promised him I would stand by his side and support him, be his number one fan and that is exactly what I am going to do.
This is where were at right now though, he thinks I should move back home. My family and friends are all back home, which will be my support system through this upcoming deployment. And he doesn't want me to "stray", I say that like that because I know he trust me, at least I hope, but a year is a long time to live alone in a city where you don't know anyone. So I completely understand his reasonings for thinking it is best that I move back home, but is it really the smartest thing to do? Moving back home means, having to transfer schools...yet again, moving my stuff back there, hopefully getting my old job back. There is so much involved with moving back home...but if I stay down here, I'll be living alone, he won't be a part of my day to day life. Which I am used to in a way, because he is gone quite a bit for work as it is. But I will be able to continue my education, which I could do at home, don't get me wrong, but not all of my credits transfered, so what if I do move back home and then come back in a year and all my hardwork doesn't transfer back. Then its basically all for nothing. But then expenses come into play. Boyfriend pays for everything right now, rent, electric, cable/internet & the majority of the food. He is going to continue to pay the rent whether I stay or not because he has to have a place to come back too...but the other bills? If I stay down here, will I have to start paying for those somehow? So there it is...I need feeback, I need opinions, should I stay down here and continue to go to school and work or move back home?
At first he was told approx 2.5 months...now its looking like the end of July. Nothing will really be set until the actual orders come in, because if its one thing I know, nothing is ever certain in the military world. My heart aches though because I feel like we have just got the chance to really live our lives and now he has to leave. I knew what I was signing up for when this relationship started, I knew a deployment would happen, not maybe happen, I knew it would happen, just didn't think it would be so soon. But I promised him I would stand by his side and support him, be his number one fan and that is exactly what I am going to do.
This is where were at right now though, he thinks I should move back home. My family and friends are all back home, which will be my support system through this upcoming deployment. And he doesn't want me to "stray", I say that like that because I know he trust me, at least I hope, but a year is a long time to live alone in a city where you don't know anyone. So I completely understand his reasonings for thinking it is best that I move back home, but is it really the smartest thing to do? Moving back home means, having to transfer schools...yet again, moving my stuff back there, hopefully getting my old job back. There is so much involved with moving back home...but if I stay down here, I'll be living alone, he won't be a part of my day to day life. Which I am used to in a way, because he is gone quite a bit for work as it is. But I will be able to continue my education, which I could do at home, don't get me wrong, but not all of my credits transfered, so what if I do move back home and then come back in a year and all my hardwork doesn't transfer back. Then its basically all for nothing. But then expenses come into play. Boyfriend pays for everything right now, rent, electric, cable/internet & the majority of the food. He is going to continue to pay the rent whether I stay or not because he has to have a place to come back too...but the other bills? If I stay down here, will I have to start paying for those somehow? So there it is...I need feeback, I need opinions, should I stay down here and continue to go to school and work or move back home?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Thursday Rants
So I have been officially moved to Columbus for about a month now. I absolutely love it! Well my townhouse and the fact that I get to go to sleep with my love & wake up with my love everyday, well most days lol. And my boyfriend being so amazing, surprised me one day and drove all the way to Akron & back to pick up my dog & be home before I got home from work. So I have my puppy with me, who isn't really a puppy because he is almost 6, but still.
Even though Josh and I live together now, we barely see each other. I go to school in the mornings Monday-Friday which means I have to work nights & weekends, which I hate even more. And he works from like 7am to usually 5pm, sometimes longer, Monday-Friday. And plus there are weekends when he has drill and/or is out of town for work. So when I work at night, its usually 930 when I get home from work and then its bed time because we both get up about 530am, usually. And I always have the weekends off when he won't be home and work the weekends he will be home. Typical huh? So needless to say we don't see each other often & it sucks. I want to say I miss him but we live in the same house, lol. So I guess I can say I miss all the time we used to have with each other. He really is my best friend!
I still don't really know anyone down here. I obviously talk to the people I work with, but I doubt it will ever be to the point where it is friends outside of work. There just, different. Haha, that was mean. And school is school. It's huge and overwhelming, I don't know if I like it still. It has only been 2 weeks, well 2 weeks tomorrow anways. Only 8 more to go this quarter. I seriously just want to be done. I am losing patience with it all. Whyy must they make getting a degree so hard & costly? On a better note though, I had to take one of those self assessment tests to see what my interest are, as far as a career goes and what I am actually going to school for was number 3 on my list. So I guess thats a good sign....
Even though Josh and I live together now, we barely see each other. I go to school in the mornings Monday-Friday which means I have to work nights & weekends, which I hate even more. And he works from like 7am to usually 5pm, sometimes longer, Monday-Friday. And plus there are weekends when he has drill and/or is out of town for work. So when I work at night, its usually 930 when I get home from work and then its bed time because we both get up about 530am, usually. And I always have the weekends off when he won't be home and work the weekends he will be home. Typical huh? So needless to say we don't see each other often & it sucks. I want to say I miss him but we live in the same house, lol. So I guess I can say I miss all the time we used to have with each other. He really is my best friend!
I still don't really know anyone down here. I obviously talk to the people I work with, but I doubt it will ever be to the point where it is friends outside of work. There just, different. Haha, that was mean. And school is school. It's huge and overwhelming, I don't know if I like it still. It has only been 2 weeks, well 2 weeks tomorrow anways. Only 8 more to go this quarter. I seriously just want to be done. I am losing patience with it all. Whyy must they make getting a degree so hard & costly? On a better note though, I had to take one of those self assessment tests to see what my interest are, as far as a career goes and what I am actually going to school for was number 3 on my list. So I guess thats a good sign....
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Deployment, Ready or Not
So, Josh had drill this past weekend. Nothing new, except the fact that I am talking to him on the phone while driving home from work. Someone from his "unit" beeped in, so he said he would call me back. About 20 minutes later, he called back. Only to tell me that it wasn't anyone from his unit, but a friend of his based out of another unit in Columbus, the Unit that will be deploying for Afghanistan in August that Josh has been trying so hard to get on. Apparently, the Chemical Battalion guy got deemed medically unable to deploy so they have to fill his spot. Of course, the first person they call is my boyfriend because thats what he does, just with a different Unit.
He would leave in August of 2011. Go to training, I forget where, for a month & then deploy to Afghanistan. He would be home in September of 2012. I am by no means mad at him for this. I knew this was coming, I signed up for this. I don't have a problem with it, actually. I mean I don't want him to leave and to especially go over there and fight in a war. But it is something he wants to do, so I am going to stand by him 100%.
My only concern is this...We both just basically picked up our lives and moved away from everyone we know. His for his job that he loves and me, to be with him & go to OSU. What will happen when he deploys? Am I supposed to pack my stuff up and move back to Akron for the year he is gone? Do I stay down here alone? While the love of my life is fighting a war on the other side of the world? And if I stay down here, how am I going to afford to pay for rent and everything?? What do I do about school then if I go back home, transfer back to Akron?? And my job too? Do I have to find another job back in Akron? Its just so much to take in...
It isn't a definite that he is going yet, but the odds are really in his favor this time. If he does get picked up for this deployment, he should get orders sometime at the end of February or March. Then he will be gone for the whole month of April for training I'm assuming and then for one week in June. So 7 months until he would deploy in August. 7 months is not a long time, as much as I want it to be. I knew he would get deployed, it was just a matter of time. But I didn't think it would be until next year sometime, meaning 2012.
Only time will tell now though.
He would leave in August of 2011. Go to training, I forget where, for a month & then deploy to Afghanistan. He would be home in September of 2012. I am by no means mad at him for this. I knew this was coming, I signed up for this. I don't have a problem with it, actually. I mean I don't want him to leave and to especially go over there and fight in a war. But it is something he wants to do, so I am going to stand by him 100%.
My only concern is this...We both just basically picked up our lives and moved away from everyone we know. His for his job that he loves and me, to be with him & go to OSU. What will happen when he deploys? Am I supposed to pack my stuff up and move back to Akron for the year he is gone? Do I stay down here alone? While the love of my life is fighting a war on the other side of the world? And if I stay down here, how am I going to afford to pay for rent and everything?? What do I do about school then if I go back home, transfer back to Akron?? And my job too? Do I have to find another job back in Akron? Its just so much to take in...
It isn't a definite that he is going yet, but the odds are really in his favor this time. If he does get picked up for this deployment, he should get orders sometime at the end of February or March. Then he will be gone for the whole month of April for training I'm assuming and then for one week in June. So 7 months until he would deploy in August. 7 months is not a long time, as much as I want it to be. I knew he would get deployed, it was just a matter of time. But I didn't think it would be until next year sometime, meaning 2012.
Only time will tell now though.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
All Aloneee on a Wednesday Night
So my boyfriend is hanging out down in West Virginia tonight for work, which equals complete boredom for Lauren. You think I would be used to him not being here already between all the crazy hours he works and drill one weekend a month, but no. lol, somebody has to make the money, cuz it clearly isn't me right now.
On that note though, I finally went to training today for work. After all the waiting and other stupid stuff I have had to do, I am finally doing my training. Today was boring though, just got to sit on my butt for 5 hours and pretty much do nothing. My training lady, Dee, she is pretty awesome! So I am actually excited to go to work tomorrow.
I recently joined the FRG at my boyfriends company Christmas party. I am actually a little too excited about it, just because I will finally be able to meet some people & make friends down here. Granted its an hour and half from our house, its still okay. Plus i'll be able to make friends with everyone if he ends up deploying, which he is still trying so hard to do.
I also just discovered that the community college down here, Columbus State Community College, has a radiography program at it. I am already enrolled at OSU for Winter quarter coming up, but I am still so undecided about it there. And I really don't know who to talk to about it. If I talk to my family or friends, they are all going to be biased because they want the football tickets at Ohio State. And school starts January 3rd....I really feel stuckk & don't know what to do still.
On that note though, I finally went to training today for work. After all the waiting and other stupid stuff I have had to do, I am finally doing my training. Today was boring though, just got to sit on my butt for 5 hours and pretty much do nothing. My training lady, Dee, she is pretty awesome! So I am actually excited to go to work tomorrow.
I recently joined the FRG at my boyfriends company Christmas party. I am actually a little too excited about it, just because I will finally be able to meet some people & make friends down here. Granted its an hour and half from our house, its still okay. Plus i'll be able to make friends with everyone if he ends up deploying, which he is still trying so hard to do.
I also just discovered that the community college down here, Columbus State Community College, has a radiography program at it. I am already enrolled at OSU for Winter quarter coming up, but I am still so undecided about it there. And I really don't know who to talk to about it. If I talk to my family or friends, they are all going to be biased because they want the football tickets at Ohio State. And school starts January 3rd....I really feel stuckk & don't know what to do still.
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