Family Matters

Saturday afternoon I went and watched hubs little niece cheer 

her last football game. A bunch of the family came out. She 

was so cute. I have photos on my phone, but no clue how

to get them on here (anyone can help). All was good, or

so I thought. I got left alone with his grandmother for 

about 10 minutes, normally it wouldn't be a big deal,

except ever since hubs deployment she has been

a basket case.

I completely understand that the deployment is hard

on EVERYONE. I am in no way putting down how

she is dealing with it, I just don't necessarily agree.

She cries ALL the time, but whatever, if it helps her

so be it. Just don't do it around me is all I ask. She

then proceeds to go on and on about, "Oh, I just

really hope he comes home. I couldn't handle 

losing him." Ummm...hello!!! Your talking to his 

WIFE here, do you really think I want to hear this?

I continue to try to be nice and tell her that she can

not think like that or the next year will be miserable.

I couldn't be nice anymore when she proceeded to

tell me that, although our situation is unique and I am 

his wife and carrying his baby but because I haven't

"known" him for as long as her and the rest of his family

that essentially they should take precedence over me,

because she basically raised him and he is "special" to

her. I get that he is her first grandchild, but she has 5 

other one's to focus on now. They have a hard time

accepting the fact that he is not a baby anymore

and that he has a wife and a baby of his own coming.

I think they fail to realize that I will be the first one to

know almost everything. It's just so frustrating.

They have done a lot for us and the baby already

so I don't want to be a bitch, but seriously, where

does the line get drawn? 

Does anyone else have family in-laws that have been

the same way? How have you dealt with them?

Blank..

Ever have those days where you have so much to say but you can't find the words to get it out right. Yeah, that is me right now. In my head I have a million things I want/need to say, but I stop myself. A.) People I know actually read this now B.) I don't know if I am ready to share some stuff C.) I feel like I have to watch what I say now because people I actually know read this. Don't get me wrong, I have never hidden this from anyone, in fact the link is on my facebook, but no one ever saw it I guess, until now. I know it is my blog and I should be free to say whatever it is I want, but for now I am being reserved. Josh still reads this from time to time, and that doesnt bother me one bit, because well he has always read it, I have never hid it from him, nor will I ever. It just people who used to be a part of my day to day life, have "stumbled" upon my blog. I'm not sure how I feel about them having access to "my life", my every thought and feeling. So today I am being reserved, I will hold back what I want to really say...

Anyone else ever have days like that?





{one} what’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?


I haven't been on a "date" with someone I have just met in so long, so I don't have a bad one.


{two} if you could be any other person for one day, who would it be?

Princess Catherine. I have always wanted to know what it would be like to be treated like royalty.


{three} what is your favorite kind of cheese?

I absolutely LOVE cheese. Mozzarella and Colby Jack are my favorites though.


{four} do you remember your 1st grade teacher?

I do! Her name was Mrs. Elliot. She was my favorite teacher, I have pictures of us together.


{five} who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

No one anymore, although I'm guilty to say, sometimes Josh.


{six} were you ever in a school talent show?

I have been in a couple when I was little. Don't remember what for though.


{seven} who is your favorite fictional character?

Umm. Carrie Bradshaw? haha.


{eight} can you open your eyes underwater?

No. It freaks me out, so I would never try.


{nine} do you look at the keyboard when you type?

Not usually. Unless I am typing laying down.


{ten} when was the last time you took a nap?

Monday afternoon. And my wakeup was wonderful, after the initial scare.

Happy Mother's Day!

So today is a bittersweet day for me. In a way it is a reminder of everything I have lost, but I am thankful. I am thankful to have TWO little angel babies watching over me today and everyday. My son who was born November 10, 2006 & my little baby B in October 09.

My son was born at 5.5 months. He lived for 3 hours. That was one of the hardest days of my life. But I know I have such an amazing little boy watching over me and smiling down. And little Baby B, we never got to know if it was a boy or girl because I miscarried, but I like to think it was a girl, just because Josh wanted a little boy so bad. I am thankful and blessed to have such two amazing little angels watching over me everyday. And I know when the time is right, I will get to have my own little family and celebrate holidays like today with them.

But, I can't leave a few special people out..

1. My mother. We have our moments, but at the end of the day she is my mother. And I know she loves me. And when I need help she is always there to pick me up and help me, whether she approves or not. She has her own way of being supportive, but I love her no less. She is part of the reason I am as strong as I am today. And I will always love her.
2. My 2 amazing sisters. They keep me sane half of the time. They really are my best friends. And they are amazing mothers to my nieces and nephews. Never thought I would see the day where we would be best friends because we terrorized each other so much when we were little. But I love them & I am so lucky to have them in my life.
3.My best friend. My God-Sister. God, we have been through so much. I have known her since I was like 5. She is the mother to my amazing little god-daughter, Kendra Ann & they are expecting another little baby around Thanksgiving. I am so excited for her and her husband. And I miss my little baby because they live all the way in Oklahoma now, good ol' military.
4. My God-Mother herself. She is such a beautiful person. She has never put up with my shit and she always knows the right thing to say. And her cooking skills are out of this world.

These are just a few of the people who have made such an impact on who I am today. And I just want to wish them and all of you a very Happy Mother's Day. Enjoy today, it is your day!

Much Needed Love

I feel like I need to take some time out and so appreciation to my favorite people in my life...

Boyfriend: You have been gone for 49 days or 1 month and 19 days, which comes out to be: •4,233,600 seconds •70,560 minutes •1176 hours •7 weeks..I get to see you in 16 days, only for the weekend - but I am not complaining, I am taking what I can get. I miss you more than words can say. I can't wait to have my sleeping partner back, I just don't quite sleep as good as I did with you there. I miss your laugh, and our name calling and our wrestling events. I miss doing your laundry and cooking for you. I miss our movie nights and going to bed really early on thirsty thursdays when all of our friends are going out. I miss our conversations we would have laying in bed. I miss you waking me up bright and early when you would have drill or PT, no matter how mad I was that you woke me up. I miss your "drill moods" and our car rides together, even though you never let me drive. I miss our Dairy Queen trips. I miss your smile and those killer baby blue eyes, I miss us beating ass in corn hole - only when were both on our game of course.

71 more days •6,134,400 seconds •102,240 minutes •1704 hours until October 1st when you graduate BOLC and your back in Ohio for good. I love you baby and I miss you like crazy!!

Best Friend: I miss you, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. I don't know what is going on because I feel like you kind of have shut me out, but I want you to know I am here. Your my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way, so don't push me away, I need you in my life.

Mother & Father: Words cannot express how grateful I am to have you as parents. We have our moments where we can not stand each other, but at the end of the day I will always love you. You not only are taking me to Jamaica on a cruise, but you are paying for me to continue to go to school because the government thought it would be cool to not give me any money for financial aid. I love you.

Marissa and Tracy: You are my sisters and I will always love you. We may do things to each other that may regret later, but we always get past it. Were sisters, we fight, that is what we have always done. But when it comes down to it, we are all always there for each other. I love you guys both and I don't know where I would be right now without you.

Kenny and Nick: You guys are like the brothers I don't have. You can always make me laugh uncontrollably and your always down for whatever whenever, usually. I am so thankful to have you both in my life and I hope it stays like this forever.

I love you all sooo much!