Will Things Ever be the Same??

Wow! So it has been a long time since I have actually blogged. So much has happened since October to now. I picked up my life and moved to Columbus to be with the man I love more than anything. It has been great so far, my only wish, that I could of brought my friends and job with me. As much I hated and complained about my job, I miss the people I work with. We were together so much, they became like family to me. I ususally saw them more than I saw my own family. I don't neccesarily miss the job, just my "family" there. And my best friends, thats a whole different story. I moved down here and I don't know a single person. Everyone of my friends is back in Akron, and I have already missed my best friends birthday. It sucks. Granted I am only 2 hours away from everyone, it is still not as easy to just come home. Coming home means the gas to go back to Akron, a place to stay while I am there, and time to see everyone so no one gets mad. It's almost like a competition, if I don't see one person but I see another, they get mad. It's frustrating...

And my best friend is mad at me, she might not admit it, but I know she is, because I would be mad too. Me moving was for the better, but it still isn't the same. We have already grown apart. We don't talk much anymore, even before I left we didn't talk much. Her resentment was buidling before I even left. I can't really say anything because I am the one who chose to leave. But I do miss her and I hope things change soon. I know we might not stay best friends like we were, but she is the only person who knows me in and out, she knows when I am angry, even when I lie and say I am fine, she knows I am lying. Friendships like that are hard to find, and I hope we can get past this "bump" in our friendship and move forward.

Much Needed Love

I feel like I need to take some time out and so appreciation to my favorite people in my life...

Boyfriend: You have been gone for 49 days or 1 month and 19 days, which comes out to be: •4,233,600 seconds •70,560 minutes •1176 hours •7 weeks..I get to see you in 16 days, only for the weekend - but I am not complaining, I am taking what I can get. I miss you more than words can say. I can't wait to have my sleeping partner back, I just don't quite sleep as good as I did with you there. I miss your laugh, and our name calling and our wrestling events. I miss doing your laundry and cooking for you. I miss our movie nights and going to bed really early on thirsty thursdays when all of our friends are going out. I miss our conversations we would have laying in bed. I miss you waking me up bright and early when you would have drill or PT, no matter how mad I was that you woke me up. I miss your "drill moods" and our car rides together, even though you never let me drive. I miss our Dairy Queen trips. I miss your smile and those killer baby blue eyes, I miss us beating ass in corn hole - only when were both on our game of course.

71 more days •6,134,400 seconds •102,240 minutes •1704 hours until October 1st when you graduate BOLC and your back in Ohio for good. I love you baby and I miss you like crazy!!

Best Friend: I miss you, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. I don't know what is going on because I feel like you kind of have shut me out, but I want you to know I am here. Your my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way, so don't push me away, I need you in my life.

Mother & Father: Words cannot express how grateful I am to have you as parents. We have our moments where we can not stand each other, but at the end of the day I will always love you. You not only are taking me to Jamaica on a cruise, but you are paying for me to continue to go to school because the government thought it would be cool to not give me any money for financial aid. I love you.

Marissa and Tracy: You are my sisters and I will always love you. We may do things to each other that may regret later, but we always get past it. Were sisters, we fight, that is what we have always done. But when it comes down to it, we are all always there for each other. I love you guys both and I don't know where I would be right now without you.

Kenny and Nick: You guys are like the brothers I don't have. You can always make me laugh uncontrollably and your always down for whatever whenever, usually. I am so thankful to have you both in my life and I hope it stays like this forever.

I love you all sooo much!

Saturday Night Bonfire

So instead of me typing out exactly what my best friend typed out about our Saturday night, I figured I'd just copy and paste and give her the credit.  Check her out ;)

Saturday night I went with my friends Emil, Nick, Jimmy, Emils' bro Josh, Lauren, Brandon & Brandons' girlfriend to a "bonfire." We were meeting up with Emils' friend Tim. It was out past Brimfield and into Suffield.. way out in the boonies. We turned off of 224 and as soon as we drove up a hill we see the bonfire on the left hand side of the road, prolly like 10ish feet away from the road. It was HUGE! Then we look to our right and see all the trucks & SUVs parked along side of the road in the grass on the dudes' property in front of his barn.

We pulled in, opened the doors to get out of Laurens' SUV and the smell of horse shit over-whelmed us. All we did was laugh. Lauren, Nick & myself started walking to the party and realized just how many people were standing around the bonfire then we looked around the barn and saw even more people just standing around, everyone with beer in their hands. People were playing cornhole. There was a beer pong table set up in the garage that was a 3-car garage with all the doors open with the radio inside playing country music.

This dude not only owned his own house, but owned the garage and I think there was 2 barns on his property.. let alone the property ACROSS the street. I was seriously in awe. We just stood there for 5 minutes to take it all in. I had never been to a real "country" like bonfire. Basically every guy had on them tan timberland type boots. Some guys had belt buckles. I even saw a guy in overalls.

I loved pretty much every minute of it. Emils' brother Josh went around the barn to use the bathroom and walks up to me "There's seriously cows just chillen in the pasture." Haha. I never thought I'd ever hear that sentence. We suddenly got the urge to go cow tippin' but they were inside an electric fence. (Smart move on the owners part. Haha.) In the garage was a nice lookin four-wheeler. Nick was like "And that'd be your four-wheelers daddy" because it's so much more bigger than mine. Haha. The owner of the property was riding around in a golf cart, with a beer in one hand, smokes in the other, and some chicks as passengers. Made me chuckle everytime I saw them.

When we were saying our goodbyes to everyone I saw 2 guys wearing the exact same shirt: the front of the shirt said "Duma Meats" and the back was just advertising Duma Meats. They were SO cute, I'm totally going to Duma Meats ASAP. I know who the Duma's are, they are truly an amazing family.. and they're oldest son is such a stud muffin. It's like everyone knew everyone. I only live not even 5-10 minutes away from Brimfield, Mogadore & Suffield but yet it was a whole-nother world. I SO much rather of grown up in the country than in Akron. I can't wait to move out to Brimfield. I'm seriously SO happy I didn't "settle" for a house that I found in Ellet. I woulda made the biggest mistake of my life. The only bad parts of the night was the Summer heat. I was miserably HOT even at 1am.. seriously 80 degrees at 1:00 in the morning is NOT needed in life. And I lost in every corn hole game I played, NOT cool.

Horrible everything

So as of today I have been in the worst possible mood. I really just want my babe back and well I can't have that. Yesterday was the first day I had a real conversation with him since this past Sunday. I know it may not sound like that long but for me its foreverrrr. I miss seeing his face, I miss hearing his voice, I miss him making fun of me. Ughhh, like I said, horrible mood. I know he is 684 miles away and has to make a new life while he is out there in Leonard Wood, I just feel like he has forgot about me back at home sometimes. I know its not true, well I hope its not true, but its how I feel sometimes. Or its just me in this shitty mood and I feel like everything is a million times worse than it really is. So I'm going boozing with my best friend/partner in crime tonight. It will either make me feel better or make it even worse, we shall seee!!!

On a better note, boyfriend gets a 4 day pass for the 4th of July in 13 dayyssss :) Thats probably the only highlight of my dayyy. Okay, im done. Just had to vent before I left to go out.