Friday, May 27, 2011

I Confess

I confess: that I am completely heartbroken.
Yes its been almost 1 month exactly since all the badness happened, since my life
fell apart, since I lost the love of my life, my best friend.

I confess: I want him. I want every part of him. I want our plans to fall through, all of
our hopes and dreams that we shared. Our one day owning a big piece of land
and building OUR dream home, and him getting me a horseyy!

I confess: I want to be able to hug him goodbye when he leaves for deployment.
I want to be his number one supporter. I want to be his biggest fan.
I want to be able to share this deployment with him.
I want to be the overly excited, can't wait to see my love in the airport
when he gets R&R, I want to get to pick out that amazing outfit
for his homecoming. I want to be able to throw an amazing going
away party and coming home party for him!

I confess: I am hurt. I am sad. I am angry. I am broken.

I confess: We are still good friends. I still talk to him almost everyday. We battle
each other in Words With Friends (by the way, if you have it, play me)
everyday.

I confess: I thought I was doing better. I think I feel like I took 20 steps back because
he is in our hometown for the weekend. I should have known he wouldn't
want to actually see me. Let alone, maybe hang out. It hurts, I hurt...

I confess: I will miss him when he leaves next week for his month long trip to Arkansas.

I confess: I miss him!


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3 comments:

Stephanie Solis said...

i know how you feel, and its pretty bummy but we must keep our heads up or at least try our best too

Mamarazzi said...

aww...heartbreaking. i don't want to drop any sort of sisterly wisdom, cuz this is my first visit to your blog...BUT i DO want you to know it gets better, the RIGHT guy will come at the RIGHT time. so don't be soooo busy looking back that you miss what is coming towards you.

thanks for linking up!!

Mamarazzi said...

oh i went to reply to your comment on my blog, i always like to reply via email and your email address is not enabled.

did you know that?

this means that you spend so much time leaving lovely comments on people's blogs and they have no way of responding to a question or thanking you for stopping by or just continuing the conversation...because instead of your email address all they see is "no-reply comment".

sad right?

you can fix that if you like.

just go to your dashboard, click edit profile and click show email address and then click save profile.

easy!!!

and i PROMISE if you change this blogging will get even better and become even more fun!